Day 1

My practice has had things added and taken away from it over the last few months due to what I need.  I don't create my own practice.  As we all know, like likes like.  And if that is the case, I won't do what I need, rather what I feel comfortable and cozy doing.

My practice today was hard.  Not like physically difficult or anything, but my breathwork was off.  I struggled with my PAE and I couldn't find a breathing flow (even found myself holding my breath after inhales...anxiety goes up my friends!).  And as I write this, I realize I totally forgot to oil.  I did do 27 rounds of Sat Nam.  And here, after about 14 rounds I finally found it.  I found my breath and I was able to just be.  It took the whole practice.  My mind was scattered with "all the things I have to do" and it was so uncomfortable to just be doing yoga with everything else that is deemed necessary in life, not even by me...but by others.  I finished my Sat Nam and felt the need to just exhale strongly and open mouthed.  And then I broke down into tears.  Relief?  Release?  I'm not sure yet.  What I know is that I needed it.  The entire thing.